What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What smell will you never forget?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

My dog is 2 weeks old. He's not eating, moving and always sleeping and I can't take him to a vet. What should I do?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What was the weakest period in US history in terms of military strength? Was it during World War II or the Vietnam War?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Have you ever been physically attacked by a demon?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Have you ever been forced into bestiality?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are some examples of a threat to democracy in India?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

TEXT:

How can a hacker damage me, realistically?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why do some guys treat girls so badly?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

How do I stop having work crushes because I only keep getting disappointed almost every day as I keep seeing they don’t like me back and won’t ever ask me out?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!